A Death in the Blood-stream


Erotica, sex, magick, sorcery and the like. these are the things you read from me daily. I twist my words, to twist your mind, and in so doing, you come, cum, and bring yourself to tears, or just more need. I often state that our truest memories are stored in our blood. your past, your future, you true self can be answered through your blood. So what happens when there is a death in the blood? When you darkest desires can be sipped, spilt, and even poured down the drains of life? What happens when the toxin the helps you, help others to become is gone. Can you move forward, just try a new drink, or should you, like many would suggest, go out, and buy just another bottle? Is there just another bottle?

Well women, gentleman, lords and ladies, I can not answer this so easily. When your inspiration of your words, come from the juice of life, that flavor, can not just be replaced. You have to dig deep, find the truest nature of your desires. You have to move past reality, move into a depth where you can, well, find that which torments you, guides you and brings you to the dawn of another work. Will the world wait, hell no! The world waits for no one! Not writers, singers, poets, engineers or anyone else, for that matter. My juice is running low. My needs are so far from finished, my mind still awaits in sin, to bring you more.

My blood calls for it. My needs begs for it, and those of you, who read my page often, long for it. What is in your blood? Is it truth, life, depth, desire, sex flesh, grinding, passion, or simply a drink? Will you do anything to fulfill it? Will you dance, scream, will you beg for your dreams wrapped in dark silk tastes only a few can conquer? My blood is mixed, the story so stands and the future will see another bottle, as you will read another story. Your skin, your need your desire may be quenched by the life in my blood. Find yourself. Hold on tight and know you, and only you can complete your own needs.

Drink Well!




My First Year In..

Snapshot04271041 (1)On March 9th 2015, I started this blog in the hopes I would acquire a few followers for my writing. My newly acquired publishing company, McWood publishing and their head, Temeca Woods said this would be the best way to connect with possible new followers. Not sure what I was doing, having never blogged before, I stumbled through one idea after another before I found myself writing the first, of many chapters in a short story entitled “The portal”. When I laid the first word on the first page, I truly had no idea where this story would go. Noor did I know the end product would leave a scratch in my memory for time to come. The story, though good from one chapter to the next, gives you something to think about long after you finish it whole. For me, I found a bit of old lost personal beliefs staring back at me from a time once forgot. For you, the readers, this world around, I may never know how my writing affects you, but still you return. You read, you enjoy and slowly my page is being read all over the planet.

When I started this, I was hoping only for a few people to trip over it, from time to time, but the result, the overall result of this page is far from anywhere my imagination could have dreamed. As of today, March 14 2016 I have received 1595 visitors & 3264 views. Not only in the United States, but from all over the world. Every day, the first and last thing I do is check the visitors and views on my page.

I have been telling my followers, for some time, when I have a book cover for my first book, I will post it on the page. This also goes for the hopeful release date for that first book. As it stands today, we are still working on the cover, but we are hoping for a release date of November 1, 2016. The name of the book, “ENSLAVED”, will be the first in a series called, “The Eighth Expansion”. At least 6, but closer to 10 books when they are all said and done. I am also working on two other series, and a stand alone novel while I continue this blog. I am honored and thrilled every day when I see how many people from different walks of life, all over the world take time to read my creations.

When I was young, the idea of becoming an author, never entered my mind. My mother wrote books, and lectured her children on their grammar daily. But when it came to me, I loved creating stories in my mind, but it was not till 2009 I decided to share those stories with all of you. It is my hope that any and all who read this will continue to follow me, possibly drop a note, from time to time, and tell those around you to do the same. I am looking forward to my second year of blog writing, and all the readers who partake herein.


From the depths of who I am now, and who I am swiftly becoming,

Thank you

E.H. Rashkae

Which flavor are you?


Has it ever occurred to you, the many flavors of life, love and sex? We eat and drink daily, the flavors that come and go are the flavors of our lives. Sex, in my opinion can be a world of taste all in it’s own. We all get use to one
way or another, but do you ever truly know what flavor of sex compliments you the best? In the world of BDSM many people separate the boundaries of sex by the terms Vanilla & Chocolate. Vanilla being the sex you may have had long before you fell into the darker world, and that therein being the chocolate.

Another way at looking at these two flavors, would be to consider the days when you want to play, get rough and break all and any rules you were ever told exist, when it comes to sex. Spankings, slapping, biting, hair pulling, domination & submission. In a way, changing the rules as you go. Will it be a free for all, or will your master be keeping pace tonight? Will you bow down and do as your told, will your scream out in pain and pleasure or will you disobey and live the punishment. Are you the one, on top, the dom making the rules or keeping track of every infraction by they, who are below you? When you partake in the chocolate depths of sex, torment an S&M you may not be able to go back. The world of vanilla may now be out of reach to you. You now crave the deep dark flavors you tasted when enjoying chocolate. But can two individual flavors accurately describe the multi leveled world of passion, sex and pain of the twenty first century? I don’t know about you, but the last time I stepped into an ice-cream shop, there were more flavors then I had ever seen, and more again the following time I went. Our world is forever changing, growing, creating new flavors, and finding new way’s to bend or reorder the rules of the past. Chocolate and Vanilla are still around, but they now have many more variations the just one or the other. Vanilla has become French vanilla, vanilla bean, crushed organic vanilla and so on. Chocolate has also become, dark chocolate mocha, world class chocolate, white chocolate pearl and many more. I have my day’s when one or the other is more then enough for my foodie tastes, but then I have passion days when it would never come close.

What about the other flavors in our lives? What about the new and more interesting choices and the endless possibilities when you start adding and mixing toppings? Lets forget chocolate, for the time being, shall we. Lets go green for  moment and see where we end up. So pistachio with peanut butter cups broken within. Sliced candied cherries and pralined almonds. How does this translate to my sex life, how can I make this taste any better in and out of bed? Again, stay with me; I have my slave on her knees, her favorite green caller, securely around her neck. On her knees waiting, patiently to be given a command, any command, just tormented enough to be entertaining. I have a cherry and black suede tasseled whip I am ready to use, and I am standing above my sub, now ready to please her completely. The first swing comes down, her round hips, takes the hit, an the sounds of love come slipping from her lips. Another and another come down and she only smiles, now dancing in her own personal ecstasy. Seconds turn to minutes, moans turn to screams, and still we dance, and the flavor continues to evolve. Now drenched in her joy, some hours later, I know this can only last as long as it does not melt. Her body, hot to the touch, wet in sensation and flexing to more and more. A single thrust, a single nibble, and the party starts again.

From one couple to the next, the flavors of our lives will be forever changing. New flavors will be mixed with the old, and the dance will start again. Are you wanting to be submissive, or dominant? Do you want something simple, well I think your out of luck. Simple can come from the world of darkness, but it rarely lasts and rarely still is ever wanted again. You may find that one flavor will simply no longer due. You want two bananas, two different kinds of ice-cream and ever imaginable topping to complete your needs. Will you have whipped cream, a single cherry, or would you be looking for two cherries tonight? Old young, soft or hard. Lace, cotton, satin or nude. the body can desire and the world will find a way to build the best flavor to suite the mood.

So please, look within yourself, look within your desires and know your ever changing appetite will be filled. So now, you look at me and tell me the old vanilla and/or chocolate is enough to satisfy your whims? I would be very surprised if you could, and more to the point, now thought you should. Treat yourself, and consider the possibilities. Are you the dinner, or dessert? Are you in need, or have needs to be filled? Questions, questions, questions! Every flavor will be filled, along with every hole. think now, what can the world of darkness do for you?


Balanced or Unbalanced


Chains, ropes, caller’s cuffs, gags, blindfolds. are these the instruments of a relationship in the world of Sadomasochism, or the restraints you put on yourself, expecting another or the world to see you as powerful and not a chained scared individual? Balance is always the desired outcome of our existence. Balance is the key, to the door within you.  If you have found another to work on the equation of the whole with, who are you really binding down? A sub, a pet, a slave or something quite a bit more simplistic; yourself. You are only 50% of the whole. if you are in a relationship, then your other half is the woman or man you try, so hard to dominate; Consider…


What kinds of restraints do you employ in your life? Are they always so obvious; chains, ropes the like, or do you think in terms of other kinds of bindings? Ratings in a sport. Titles in an office. Position. Status. Husband, Wife, parent, owner. Boss or Supervisor, Grunt? Which of these fit your true inner an outer existence? Do you even realize what you are to the unsuspecting world around you? One more scared lonely individual trying to show the world, at large, you are not alone or scared. You are not weak. Or, do you truly believe because of one or a combination of, the above mentioned words, that you are somehow above such things? Go ahead, keep deluding yourself and wondering off the path to your true and balanced self. How long will you continue to trade chains and bondage for true freedom and balance?


Breaking the Chain’s – Dark sexuality Vs. Human Slavery


Today, in our media, and around the globe, certain kinds of sex and darker kinds of roll playing have recently been introduced to the mainstream lifestyle. Through books, media and the internet, people have radically been thrusted into a possible lifestyle change, that is not only dangerous, but a deeply personal choice as well. Many in the adult population today are not fully aware of the serious nature of Satomasochism. They do not fully understand the extreme nature change between this kind of lifestyle, and the act of enslaving a human being, against their own will and forcing them to take part in sexual acts and human slavery. Many, including myself, till recently think that the old world kind of slavery is something of our past, not present. I, myself had thought that only third world countries still dealt with that kind of mistreatment of humans, but recently, I found out through a special section of 1CNN, The CNN Freedom Project, that slavery is still very much alive in the twenty first century.

So, how do we teach the youth and newest generations of the adult civilized world, to choose wisely between what is still your own personal choice and being taken against your will and forced into a life for anthers gain? Personally, I would hope the knowledge would be a simple choice. But when it comes to human greed, there seems to be no limit with some individuals. Some people seem to have no problem in taking care of themselves, and maybe their own family, but still using others to pay for their comfortable lives. For any out there reading this blog, please note, I do not, in any way agree with any act that hurts or jeopardizes the safety, and individuality of any human being. We all want to live our lives our on way. We all want some kind of a future and most want families. To take that choice away from any other person is, amongst the worst acts any can do to another.

How can people learn the safe way to engage in dark sexuality, and S&M, and learn that some parts of our world should not be compared or engaged in? My past log, too many shades of Grey does not tread into the black, noted too much grey area now-a-dye, in our acts of sexuality, but what limits your personal activities, should depend on a few, if not more aspects; Are you causing permanent harm to your partner? Is the act consensual between all parties? Did you discuss all the roles each person is to take, before starting, and did you both agree? If you are unfamiliar with what you are doing, don’t just jump in all at once. Never take the chance that your actions, or the actions of your others will leave long term effects, of any negative nature. Consult books professionals or up-to-date clubs in your area. If you are unsure of the true nature of human slavery today, look to CNN, look at the destructive power of these acts in other parts of the world. India, Nepal, most of Asia, and even your home area, whether it be the US, the UK, Europe or anywhere else. Believe me, it happens there more then most of us want to accept.

Slavery is the trading, selling and misuse of people for work through forced labor. Sex and brothels, in the act of sexual slaves. The buying, selling, and trading of people as if their lives were worthless for anything else. When I think about my fellow person’s, I think of other minds, smiles, pain and possibilities for all our futures. I have serious problems looking to the person next to me, and see something, not someone. I hear their voices, see a small part of their every day life and possibly see their friends as well. The sheer idea of taking that person and forcing them, through abusive actions, threats or the possibility of death, to do any number of actions in the attempt to make only my life better. We all breath the same air. We all dream of a future not yet reached and we all feel pain, suffering and sorrow. I sit now, in a Starbucks on the campus of Northern Kentucky University and watch all the people around me and see so many possibilities. Yes, I live in the United States, but I have been to and visited many other countries too. In my life I have been helped by too many to thank, too many to remember and too many to repay, but I now, thanks to the opening of my own eyes, I have a way to thank them all. I take the chance to educate, inform and help all those who have had the gift of a positive life, and their freedom removed without their consent. I write and hope others will read about the pain I feel now for a small but very real part of our world still spinning out of control.

2From CNN I saw online, it is said there are approximately 35.8 million slaves currently on our planet today, (as of 2014) This is, “the smallest number of people in slavery in the history of the human race.” Though this should make me feel a bit better, it only brings me more pain. This world, not this country or that has been created by the suffering of others since the inception of human beings. That is more then ten thousand years of suffering, beating, hurting, lying, manipulating and killing of innocence to better the goals of individuals. Today there are more and more people trying to come together, to break the chain’s we have all had influence our lives since the beginning. Peoples all over the world want the act of slavery to stop. We have to find a way to free our word, free our minds, and free our hearts, so others can join in a better world for tomorrow.

Before I finish this note, I want to mention the main section of people who are still being enslaved in our world today; women and children! More then 80% of taken slaves today are women. Runaways from America, children from lesser opportunities in every walk of life. Abandoned, lost or mistreated looking only for a way out. I ask you please, look into your area, look into your country and take a stand for all those who can not stand on their own. Help the organization’s and people trying to brake the chain’s of slavery.

Thank you.

E.H. Rashkae

Too Many Shades of Grey


So my thought for this week is one I have had tumbling through my head for some time. Maybe years, maybe longer, but I think it is important to consider all the same, for all participating elements  herein.

I feel the importance of the sexual world, to all our lives is profound. It is, in my eyes, the most powerful personal act you can share with another person, or persons. It is the key to your lock. It is the horse power in your drive, but it can also be the crash before you brake! It is how we share our deepest desires, loves, dislikes and passions. It can be a blessing, the touch from a god, or it can be the death of your personal self.

Many believe, or like to make themselves believe that sex is only one small part of a relationship. If you are only speaking of sex in a body wrapping, lip locking tongue tying event, then this view could be, not only possible, but plausible. But, if you look at sex as the overall interaction of passion, touch, holding, control, pain, love, distraction and need that grows in all of us daily, it then becomes so much more.

Books of the recent past; “Fifty Shades of Grey”, and the like have cross contaminated the lines between two very different worlds, held within the sexual and physical realm. It has also, for the first time, allowed many people/s to catch a glimpse of a world tightly guarded and hidden, for good reason, from an unsuspecting populous. Is it safe to say that S&M is merely an extension of rough sex? Or, is it safe to call sex the gateway to S&M? Does everyone crave, need or desire the express reasons for the world of sadomasochism ?

“*Noun The combination of  sadistic *1a and masochistic*1b elements in one person, characterized by both aggressive and submissive periods in relationships with others”.
*1a Adjectivepertaining to or characterized by sadism; deriving pleasure or sexual gratification from extreme cruelty”.
*1b Adjective gratified by pain, degradation, deprivation, etc., inflicted on oneself either by one’s own actions or the actions of others.”

After reading the reviews of “Fifty Shades of Grey, from those who had not previously been introduced to the world of S&M, the opinions were at least, if not more so then the name of the book/s; fifty and more opinions. What about the people who still only desire the sensual, physical and arousing experience of sexual contact, for the reason/s of sexual contact? Now, they have this new bit of information in their lives. It has now affected them and they may, like many I know personally be confused to the origin of S&M. Does it have to apply to them? Do they change their whole understanding of sexual expression due to this new information, now brought to the world. Or do they sit quietly wondering what all this means? Is it possible there could be a third side to the new understanding/s of sex and pleasure? In what is now a very black and white realm, maybe something in the middle would help those, who are new to this information, find a new way to balance their understandings of the situation. Lets just go ahead and add the Grey.

As I mentioned above, this is something that has been on my mind for same time, even before the printing of Fifty Shades, I was once taught about the need of balance in all our lives. Taught that S&M was a path for those who lived in  world significantly unbalanced  due to their own life choices. A path to help them back to standing half in the light, half in the dark, but not being corrupted by either side in overdose. As it stands now, I meet people every day who are terribly confused to the darkness now laid out before them, and not in very well managed terms, rules and ways.

In a recent conversation between my wife and myself, I have come to my own conclusion of our new black and white reality. I find a need, for many, not only myself, the need for a better understanding of sexual expression. In my own path, I hope you can all follow, this is how I see the world and choices around me. On one side, we have what most people understand as physical sensual contact, mostly in the idea of light; sex.  On the other end, a new medium drenched in the dark and unexacting loss of understanding; S&M. Now for hose out there who seem to be confused, fearful and maybe a bit upset by this new flash of darkness on your life, there can be something in the middle; Dark Sexual Play or DSP. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like change as much as most people of our race, but this topic seems to have upset a balance that has stood for some time, and needs better explanation to many around the world. All light without darkness. All darkness without the light. No middle ground. The very concept of all or nothing is not one many people can swallow easily. It leaves a bad taste in our mouth, our lives, our understandings and our sense of truth. Many are just fine with the complete world of black and white, but I am just the author of this, how do you feel?

Is there a reasonable place for a third option in our expanding sexual lives, understandings and ideas? Should there be something in the middle to fill in the gaps of light and dark? Or, should we stay with the world we already have; sex and sadomasochism? I leave this one up to you. The readers and thinkers of the world. Those who openly explore their lives, and those who hide in the shadows, unable or unwilling to step fully into the dark. Would you be more comfortable with DSP before going “all in” or should I leave this one alone?

The Dragon Within

dragon within

Throughout history the dragon has been used to define many things. Good, Evil, power etc. When I was much younger then I am today, I was told a story, by a woman who taught me the truest meaning of what it is to be human. The secret many live with their who life and never awaken. A secret of pain, enjoyment, and lust. Power, domination and a back door, if you will to the divine. Many, in the world around you have no idea what to do with the information about their dragon, even when you give it to them. Still others have known about their dragon their entire lives. Maybe they  have never heard this story, but it is a story that changed my life forever. I am not privy to being able to use real names, so I will simply make them up. The woman who taught me, brought me out of the light and drenched me in eternal darkness, as some would see it, was cunning, crafty and had a way about er that made you just want to stand and stair. I am going to call her Eve, for this story, since she was the eve of the second chapter of my life.

1998, Early fall, I was in NY city with some friends, just hanging out, and having a good time. The second day we were there, I was off on my own and happened across a lovely black haired woman, standing on top of a newspaper dispenser, yell at a cop on horseback in Russian. Only a few years earlier, my brother had fallen in love with a woman from Ukraine, and through their marriage, I had picked up just enough Russian to stumble through what this woman was yelling. Don’t get me wrong, I did not catch every word, but just enough to get the overall idea. To this day I have never asked her what had started that little fit of words. As I stood there leaning on a light pole she kept yelling and he kept shaking his head. Once or twice he tried, in English, to tell her he had no idea what she was saying. In the end he waved his hand at her and rode away.

The woman, quite pleased with herself hopped down and found me looking right at her smiling. The way she looked at me is what caught me off guard, but did not cool her temper any. Again, I did not catch any of what she barked at me, but I almost fell over laughing. I simply regained my posture and said, in English, “I found her interesting to watch”. Assuming she did not speak English, I made to walk away, and her hand caught my arm. Looking back, the anger was gone, now replaced with a smile and a simple nod of her head. She looked me up and down, more then once, I guess trying to figure out if I was worth her trouble. the first thing Eve ever said to me in English, would not make a bit of sense for more then ten years, but the worlds still echo in my mind and heart.

“You have no idea how to deal with it, do you?”

“I am sorry, deal with what? You do speak English?”

“Of course I speak English. What kind of person would come to a foreign country and not speak the language?”

I really had no answer for that, but I knew she would have a great story to tell, if only I could get it out of her. She still had my arm in her hand and she changed her grip, so she was now holding my hand, not holding me. She tilted her head in a single direction and started walking. I don’t think it ever crossed her mind that I might not follow. We walked for several blocks, and found a small bar. You know the ind, it only stands out if you have been there before, and she obviously had. Once indoors, I found myself in a room, covered in red light, soft leather couched and a single bar at the back of the room. As we walked through the room we came to a set of chairs and she motioned for me to sit. While she proceeded to the bar, I took a seat, not realizing just how tired I already was from my romp through the city. When she came back she was holding two shot glasses, and the woman from the bar was holding two drinks. I had only had shots with my sister in law once, but it had made me choke up a lung, and now fear was rushing through my memory of that event. Eve seemed most amused at my face when she handed me a glass. Taking it, I noticed it was not cold, only room temperature. She held up her glass, and I did the same. She spoke, not only to me ears, but I think to my heart as well.

“To the second chapter in your life!”

Again I was lost for words, but bowed my head and took my shot. It could have been water, or nothing at all. There was not burn, no bad flavor, really no flavor at all. It went down and Eve took a seat next to mine and the woman behind her handed us both tall drinks, looking more like blood then anything else. It smelled like raspberries and chocolate, so I hopped it was ok.

For the rest of the afternoon, we sat in that bar and spoke of our lives. She told me she was born in Moscow, but lives in Paris. She was very interested in a side of me, I knew nothing about. Over and over I wondered how a perfect stranger could know more about me, then I did, but as the day wore on, I stopped caring. I had found a new friend, and I felt like she would introduce me to a world I had been missing. That night, I stayed with her, in a town house quite some distance from where we had started. The next day and the day after that went as the first had. Over the next five days I found myself not wanting to be away from Eve. I had told my friends I had found someone to spend time with and they went on about their planes, like I knew they would. The week came to an end, and Eve had become someone I never wanted to go without. I had no idea what was coming next, but I also did not care. I had no job, nowhere to be and nothing to do. It was when she told me she had to return home, that I thought I would die. The week had been amazing, but the thought of loosing her, and a chance to become something more then I had been without her, hit me hard. I should have known she had her own ideas of how to deal with it.

“I may have to return to Paris, but if you are not busy, I was hoping you might come with me? I have clients to see to for the first few days back, but after I will be free for more then a month. I think I can introduce you to another side of you, in that time, if you re still interested?”

I could not believe I was being asked to come home with her, but I knew I would have to make this decision and move forward and not look back. I was fortunate that I had just quite a job with the government and I had a passport in my belongings already. I decided an adventure was at hand, and I was not going to stand in fates way. The very next morning we caught a cab to JFK and Eve bought tickets for us both to France. It had been some time since my last visit to Europe, and that had been with family. The flight was simple, I think I slept most of it. I was not big on flying but we arrived untouched. Eve had a car waiting when we arrived. She kept smiling at me, in her own strange way. I still had no idea what she thought she was going to teach me, but as long as I lived through it, whatever.

The drive to her home was uneventful as was the first night. The following day I woke to find Eve in the most unusual outfit I had ever seen. Not only on her, but ever! A long black skirt, red corset and black lace gloves down to her middle finger. There was a man in the house helping her get ready, but he never spoke a word to me. When I tried to speak to him, Eve told me to allow him to continue with his business. It had not occurred to me, till that moment, that all the time I had spent with her,  I had never asked what it was that she did for a living. I had assumed her family had money, but now I saw she made her own way. When she was ready, I walked her to her front door, and wondered what I would do alone in Paris. She handed me an envelope and told me not to worry. She would be back tomorrow and then she could fill in some blank spaces. That morning was the first time she had kissed me, but I felt something very powerful move from her lips to mine, in that brief moment. She looked at me, smiled and left the house.

Now you must understand I knew nothing about Paris, as an every day city. I only knew where I was because you could see the canal from her front windows. I knew if I could find that I could find my way around. I had never been alone in a foreign city, but I had never backed down from a challenge either. The rest of the day, and that evening I mostly spent in the Louvre. I had always wanted to see it, and now I had two days to drool, if you will. That evening I found a small cafe and had dinner. I still felt odd, not knowing a lick of French, but I did the best I could sounding out words, and people seemed to take that as a good thing. Finding my way back to Eve’s house was the hardest part. When it got dark, the city changed altogether. I was completely exhausted when I got home and fell dead into bed. I woke the next day with the sun in my eyes, and the room. Eve had not returned, but she had not specified a time. I  left the house, found yet another cafe, got coffee and pastries for breakfast. For the first time since I was young,  felt the need to write. I asked the barista where I could buy a pen and note pad? I did so and returned to the cafe. It was right across the way from Eve’s home so I might see her when she came back. I spent the rest of the day, sitting there drinking tea and writing poetry. By the time the sun was starting to set, a black car arrived in front of the house, and Eve climbed out of the back. Same dress as the day before, same woman, only tired. I wanted to know what she did for a living, but still did not want to be rude.

As if I were yelling and waving my hands she looked right at me when she got clear of the car. She handed her things to the same man who had been with her, while she got ready and he took them in the house. Walking over the street and taking a seat next to me. She was smiling again. A smile only she can wear. her words, as always caught me off guard, but I was getting use  to it.

“Are you ready to wake it? I think I have the energy to help you tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.”

As with most of what she said, I had no clue, only nodded my head, stood and went home with her. She brought dinner with her, when she came home. The young man had set a table and right as we entered he was preparing to leave. He stood before Eve and bowed his head. She only touched his shoulder and he departed. A small bit of fear was growing in me about what I was about to learn that night, but I was here, Eve was here and she seemed to think I needed whatever it was that she was offering. Dinner was short, as was our conversation and then came the odd questions;

Have you ever ben hit and liked it? Have you ever wanted to hit someone else and not have it be out of anger? Have you ever been pushed during sex? These questions went on for some time, each one as bazar as the next. By the time she finished, my head was pounding, as was my heart, and she seemed to think something more was needed. I had not told her I had only had sex a few times in my life, and none of them were all that memorable. She had me stand,  and follow her to the living room. Eve removed my shirt and  shorts, then asked if I would help her out of hr attire. As her clothing fell to the floor, I knew something I had tried to ignore since our meeting was coming forth. I could not control my bodies reactions and I feared upsetting her. I truly had no idea. As the last bits of her clothing fell to the floor, and she stood in front of me, skin beading with sweat, I hoped I would not disappoint her. More happened that night, then I may ever admit to, but by the time we both found a bed, something had changed within me. Something had waken I could not put back to sleep and I fell through darkness as I would for some years to come.

The sex had been sex, the small bits of pain Eve caused me brought out a kind of arousal I did not know existed. She would go from rubbing my cock, to yanking on it till I would scream! Go from kissing my lips to slapping my face and knocking me sideways. Scratches down my skin, nibbles turned to full on biting! I did not know the body could shake so much in so little time. As she progressed, the sex mostly stopped, but the use of my body did not. I grew tired, and worn. I wanted more, but knew I would not consciously last the game. Her feather bed, held me like nothing had before that night. The morning came with questions, and a painful body and mind. Eve woke beside me smiling, more then loving or sweet. She seemed completely at peace, something I had not seen in her since our meeting. I could only phrase one question, and then came the talk.

“What exactly happened last night? Why do I hurt so badly now, it did not hurt like this last night. I don’t understand.”

“It is simple to explain in words, but will take you a lifetime to fully understand. The way I was taught was this. Everyone is born with a sleeping dragon within them. Many go their entire life without rousing it, and never care. The few who awaken their dragon find something completely unique to balance out the dad to dad life we all have to lead. The dragon is only a part of the whole. It is only a set of scales set to keep a balance most never know they need. You have need I will only partly be able to balance out with you. I am taking it, you enjoyed last night?”

“Yes, only I am not sure what fully happened.”

“Try this then.”

No warning at all, no foreplay, so to speak, she grabbed my hair, and yanked my head back. Her lips found my neck, where it was pulled firm and bit on hard enough for me to scream in pain. She slapped my face, clawed my chest and twisted my nipple. Never did she move for any sexual areas, she only found small ways to bring pain to my surface. In turn I felt the need to repay her the same. I had no idea what drove my need, or what to start with first, but as we proceeded on, I was gifted with a scream or two out of her as well. Screams turned to moans, and moans turned to screams. The morning passed by into afternoon. and still we played our game.  When evening came, we were both covered in bruises, scratches and the bed drenched in sweat and cum from us both. The moment we stopped I felt something twist within me, and that was what Eve had been waiting for.

“That! That feeling within you now, that is your dragon waking from her slumber. She will never sleep again, and you will only move closer to a more balanced life because of it. Do you understand any of what has happened today?”

I don’t think I could have spoken if the Goddess mother had walked into the room, but I was able to feel. Feel a more profound sense of understanding then ever before. I wanted more pain, but also wanted something softer. I met Eve’s eyes and found her lips. She did not ask me to stop, she only fell into me, as I fell into her.  In the end, it was our bodies and stomach’s to drive us out of bed. I found walking to be rather difficult that night, but so did she. My mind and soul were racing and even the food we ate did nothing to curb the new drive within me.

Over the next few days we had many romps in the sheets, on the couch, in the park and by the canal. Each one helping me to better understand the nature of the dragon within. Now, forty years old,  seventeen years later, this event just another memory in a life twisted across the world. I wonder what my life would have become without the assistance of Eve? The waking of my dragon, and the decisions made of that waking.  Ten years later I started the path she had set me on, that month in Paris. A path that led me to my true self. The women writing this story. The women living this life, and the women my world had needed since I was a child. I know within me, I would never have found her, without finding Eve. Eve is still a part of my life. We speak from time to time, but always she lives in my soul, resting next to my dragon within.