To much time had passed. She still lay exactly where she had fallen, and I, no longer contained the wild within me. Her body, wet from the rain, had brought out just enough bad, that I could not stop it from happening. I stood beside her, looking down on her silent form. I knew the unspoken word. The same word I still fought within me. I wanted more. I wanted to feel her fear, the look on her face as I lost myself within her. Her screams, the force of the struggle, the shaking when she finally gave in. Would it be the same with another woman, or would this be the only time I feel this?
My hands were shaking fully now, I reached down, brushing my fingers along her soft face. Her hair fell with each passing breath. No movement. No breath, no life. Was it supposed to be this deep of a feeling? Should some part of me feel remorse? Was there more to me now, or less? Would I ever truly know? I continued to look at her face, unmoving, unbroken from the moment she left. Her life had been in my hands, and now it was gone. It had taken so short a time to gain her trust, and now it was done. This moment I had been preparing for for the majority of my adult life.
As I started to wake from my dream; the music, the voices, even the wind rushed in from all directions. The cold from the wet, was now seeping through my bones. The excitement was wearing off, the possibility of capture, loomed in my mind, but it was not enough to break my gaze on the short red headed body. Her eyes now glittered in the light of the sparks in the night sky. A single voice broke my thoughts, the soft voice, the high pitch and the worry in her voice, it all called to me.
“Johnson? Are you out there? Come in baby, I don’t want you sick and tomorrow is your big day.”
She was right, tomorrow was my big day, but this was also a big night. I had dreamed of this moment since my mother died, and now I had taken my first step, and the power, the furry and the moment I struck had forever changed me. The world may one day catch up, but I am willing to bet, it will not be for many years, if ever. One last look, a single deep breath, then I turned and went back to my honey-moon.