Running against your personal Programming

mental programming

It is an odd thing, when you have spent the majority of your life doing things a certain way. Take me for example. I have always been taught to be efficient and expedient. I have worked in professional kitchens for years, yet now, I find myself working in a clerical position for a shipping company. My grandfather always told us, the children in the family; “If you are on another mans clock, use your time wisely. Don’t waste time. Don’t be lazy, and don’t ever stand around.” This has been the way I have looked at things most of my adult life. So how do I, a person who looks on themselves as efficient and learn to run against my own personal programming?

In psychology class in college, you are taught that your personality is, for the most part, set by the time you reach eight years old. So, if you consider that lesson, we are, who we are going to be by the same time.  This does not mean we can not grow and learn as an individual throughout our lives, but we, as children absorb our personal environments and become a mirror of that. Wether that be our parents, surroundings or environments.

Most people, that I know anyway, grew up with parents, school, a stable living arrangement exc. My life growing up was a bit different. Always moving around the country. Never in the same place for more then a year or two then moving again. When I was ten I lost my family and was put into group homes run by the Commonwealth. The bouncing, for me, did not stop till I was over eighteen. The only constant in my life, after I moved in with the Commonwealth, was that of a protective grandfather. And, it is now his voice I hear in my head, at my new job daily. They want me to slow down my pace, not do everything so quickly, and learn to take my time. Otherwise they will run out of things for me to do each week and it could effect my time clock.

So, as you see, I am facing a reprogramming sidestep in my professional life. I guess I am questioning what to do in the foreseeable future. Can I learn to change my routine only for this job, eight hours per day, and one day go back to being efficient? Or, do I change from now till I retire, and hope I never find myself again in a career that expects me to run at full speed and worry little about running out of things to do? A seemingly short question and dilemma, but one I find myself stumped on, nonetheless.

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