(6) Breath of Aspen


Written with the help of BT: These Hopeful Machines: The Unbreakable.

I had never been left alone, anywhere in my entire life. Mother had always had someone looking after me as a child. As I grew older, I had been asked to keep track of my own whereabouts for reasons of safety, but always knew there was someone to look out if I needed them. Tonight however, I was completely alone in our country estate. Not even the slaves were left in the house. Not to much to argue with there. I could only assume they had been tagged with a rather high price tag, not exactly something you leave lying about to find trouble, but someone in the house would have been nice.

Just as mother had said, the outer pantry door had been left ajar, and once inside, I had used this as a way to escape the house as a child, not I only had to back track old steps. Now, again within the safety of our home, I wish I could tell you I felt better, but after the morning with Christian, and now the rest of the estate being gone, I had to admit, this was not the most comfortable situation I had ever been left in. Lucky for me, mother had an extensive liquor supply, it never had a lock and now, since I was alone to deal with my own fears, what could a nice drink cost me?

As I entered the kitchen, I noticed a small bloody handprint on the window looking out to the front drive. I knew it had not been there when I went for my walk. I doubted mother would have allowed it to be left, had she seen it in the first place. Knowing none of these things were likely, made my stomach churn a bit more. Had my soon to be late father in law come back to leave me a bloody threat, or was something else going on? I did not want to wonder who would leave such a messy smudge on a window, but I also did not want to think there was a chance Christian was going to come back looking for early repayment to whatever atrocities he thought I had harmed him with. I closed my eyes, walked to the reach in and found food. My first thought had to be getting myself stable. That alone would be more difficult if I was not fed.

To my great surprise, there was a few pieces of prosciutto, spinach and rustics quiche. As it were, I could not have come up with anything better to fill my desires right now. I did not remember seeing this yesterday, though I had my hands tied up a bit. It was not something mother cared for, as much as I, but maybe it had been made in the haste of leaving, her knowing it was my favorite. Once I had it on a plate, I had to make the harder decision. Did I want wine, if so red or white? Did I want to muddle something from fruits and juices, or did I want something altogether different? I swear, between my need for sexual play, my need for food, and my dark need for drinks, it could kill a girl, but I continued to look through the room, I knew if I had patience I would find the perfect compliment to tonights dinner. As it were, right as I was considering giving up the search, I knew exactly what I wanted. Again not something mother would miss. I truly think it was kept in the house for me alone. Late season German ice-wine. Very sweet, soft to the pallet abut not overwhelming if eaten with the right foods. Quiche, ice-wine and a bit of personal space. Maybe tonight would be alright after all.

It took less then five minutes to devour the first bit of quiche, I was happy to know I had another piece in the cooler. Once back at the table, I had my fill and I found myself feeling much more stable and overall better with my current situation. I was glad to know mother had no taste for my choice in wine, I went through two bottles before I found my head swimming, my belly full and my mind a bit too relaxed, even for me. While I sat finishing off  my last glass, now I turned to my possible events for the evening, and then tomorrow. This place had always been a retreat for me, even when I was a child. I had never felt uncomfortable here out out on the grounds. I was not happy to know that Christian had now found a way to disrupt my personal space.

Getting up from the table, I found myself to be much more on the dizzy side, then I had been expecting. I walked in the general direction of the pool, knowing a dip would be nice, but still safely within the walls of the house. Once there I had no desires to go find a swim suit, and simply removed the clothing. I hd been wearing this since yesterday at lunch and now after two days in dress, a long afternoon walk, and conversing with a dragon, I knew the water would feel blissful. As my skirt fell to the floor, and my new purple panties as well, I was shamed to notice how rough my sexual hair had become. I was always to happy to know I would be clean shaven each and every day, but the last three had been quite a bit more then my regular lifestyle would allow. Oh well, a bit scruffy, hot and tired, all salved with cool water and relaxation.

I was just slipping into the cool water when there was pounding at the front door. I knew I had checked the lock when coming in this evening, but when the sound thundered through the house, yet again, I knew this was not going to be pleasant. I was considering answering it, that was before I could hear a drunken call from none other then Christian. I was starting to wonder if he had stolen a car, but that was the least of my concerns, at this point. I was completely nude, a bit sore from my afternoon, and even more then a bit out of sorts of how to handle the current situation. I wanted to close my eyes, ignore the stupid male and sink into the pool, but even Aspen was starting to stir within me and I knew she would never let any harm befall me. It was an odd feeling knowing I was about to ask myself for a suggestion, but her answer came through long before my mouth actually opened. As before, her voice was calm and pure. nothing there to make me think she could not handle this little problem. Nothing till her words graced my ears.

“I have to tell you dear, this is not a situation I want you to be in tonight, but since he is at the door, obviously out of sorts and not in the mood to be going anywhere, is there anyone you might call, or should I ready myself and your body for an outing tonight?”

“Honestly Aspen, I have no idea what to do. Had this happened in the city, I would simply call the police, but out here there are few to no options when a nuisance come calling. If you tell me to trust you, I will trust you. At this moment, I am nude cool and covered in water. I would personally love to simply ignore him, but I am not dumb, he is not going to simply walk away after the events of this morning. What do you suggest?”

“I could not agree with you more, at this point. If you wish to lavish in the pool and not disturb yourself with him, then I can completely concur. The doors are locked, it is getting cold outside and you don’t have much to worry about. Though I will warn you, since your mother is completely clear of who and what I am, should I have to defend us, I will burn down the house before I allow you to come to harm. Just a warning.”

Having Aspen in my mind, heart and soul was not going to ever be a problem. She rounded off my jagged edges. She helped me see the simple side of things and I could ever hear the jest in her voice as she talked about protecting me. It was hard to imagine that a night as hard as last would bring about the results of a dragon in the twenty first century, but I must say she is a breath of fresh air, and right not fresh air was a commodity I could always use more of. The pounding did not stop, but neither did I go looking to stop it. Mother would have pitched a fit and given in to him, but Aspen and I simply enjoyed the pool, the water and the peace of mind behind English oak walls and timber. Quarry stone outside, granite within, this house would surely take a beating long before it gave way to a single drunken idiot. As time went on, and we did not answer his calls, he did slow his pace, and even go quiet for long periods of time. Then, out of nowhere he would start up again, beat on the door, pitch his little fit and start all over again. The hours slowly went by, his tantrums came and went, but by twilight, he had all but left us and the house alone.

Around one in the morning, I drug myself out of the pool, feeling closer to an old woman then a young one. I felt complete being able to walk the house completely nude. No worries, none at the moment anyway. Aspen had all but vanished from my minds eye. I felt her still a bit now, as I approached the front window to the house. I had hoped any and all who may have come with Christian would be long gone, but as always he and three other men, of whom I had never set eyes on, were out next to a fancy Italian sports car, drinking beer and making complete fools of themselves. It was not the men, mind you that bothered me so, it was the case of gear half hanging out of the car, glittering in the moonlight and got me thinking that maybe all the trouble with Christian, and the threats had more to do with my direct actions, then I had considered myself responsible for. I slipped away from the window, returned to the side of the pool and redressed enough to climb back to my room, knowing clean clothing and the like would be waiting.

I took a minute to look over the course of this week as I climbed the stairs. It had started so simply. I had met friends in the city for lunch the morning of the opera. I had not returned home, and though till this very moment, I had not concerned myself with looking around me, wondering if preying eyes may be watching. I have always had the keen ability to look back at the happenings of my life, and take a better look around me then when it had been the present. Now, opening the door to my room, I started to see the same set of eyes looking at me throughout the day leading to the opera. There were two different pairs, and though I could not see body and sizes to accompany the eyes, they were there all the same. As I found new clothing, panties and a bra, I kept looking through my day and I realized there had been people watching, close to my every move. In the restaurant with friends for lunch. On the city streets buying and browsing for good. Even in the theater while watching the show. All these places now, I could see clearly a threat that had been growing around me, about me and most likely because of me, and my complete lack of consideration to my own well being. Till now I had never felt unsafe in London, but the images I now saw in the back of my mind, nearly brought me to tears. Stealing a peek out my window, the three men were still fully conscious, drinking suds and even admiring the gear which was now completely out of the car, and being broken into what looked like usable groups.

My night with Arthur had brought me to the attention of such gear. It had been all over his home, even in painting and artwork, there had been men and women alike bound in what looked like elegant but firm restraints. How Christian had anything to do with that style of living I could only guess. Though, he had been married to mother, and just yesterday I had been surprised to find her in possession of two live in slaves. If mother took part in that world, it would be easy enough to put the worlds together and see the connection. Mother, clearly had her hands in pleasure of others, not in the enslaving of them. Christian, on the other hand seemed very pleased to be on the stealing end of this little trade. Did he think of me as just another woman to be sold into sexual slavery, and if that were the case, was the man I knew as Arthur, Master Windsor, not so much a maker of toy’s, but the seller and trainer of flesh. Living flesh, minds and souls must make a better profit then selling toy’s to the children of highborn families.

Pulling all this information in, I was much more comfortable defending the house steps fully dressed. Knowing Aspen to be within me, and protective over me. I had just landed on the ground floor when the men made it clear they were far from giving up for the night. Only this time they were beyond reason, two of the front windows burst into shards as rocks and shotgun blasts tore through them. I turned in sudden fear, as I clearly heard the drunken voices of men obviously here to tear me away from a life I had only just glimpsed in the last two days. I was not about to give in willingly, but then I felt my skin stretch, my body change and watched in total disbelief as my hands changed completely in front of my eyes.

Fingers turned to claws. Hands changed to what more closely resembled giant paws. No longer covered in skin, now hardening to diamond hard purple scales. The under side of my growing paws were still closer to skin, but I could not think of anything that would yet harm me. As I took in a deep breath, I could feel my torso stretching, my ass and thighs changing shape and the hair on my head pulling inward. there was an old fashioned full sized mirror in the library I simply had to see what Aspen was doing to me. I felt that walking there should not have been such a bother, but when my fist attempted step landed me on the floor, and Aspen’s inservice only giggled, I knew this was going to take a good deal to get use to. I wished now, I had considered that they may not be finished for the night. As I climbed back to all fours, not just two legs, I felt and heard the spreading of fabric, and clothing I had not wanted destroyed this night. Again Aspen chimed into my mind, and gave me reason to relax and proceed cautiously.

“although new to you now, and myself in your body, this is how we become paired for all eternity. You will grow accustomed to four legs, not only two. You will become comfortable with my shape and not your own, and when you see what we are capable of together, you will never again have reason to fear anything. Move forward my daughter, we will make it together, or not at all.”

As she had told me, I rose back to four paws, concentrated on walking more like a dog, then human and one step at a time we made our way to the library. I had never liked the massive doors leading inward, that was till now. My duality form would never had fit through a normal sized door tonight, and I was determined to see this new change in myself with my inner dragon. I stepped through the double doors and saw something I still had problems believing was my own form. I was no longer only five or so feet tall. All my human curves now gone, replaced with the long slider curves of a great scale covered serpent. Ninety percent of my new scales were a deep royal purple, but every so often they were accompanied by light and dark blues, and even the one or two greens of pure emeralds. My hair now completely gone, replaced by horns and spiked scales surrounding my face and eyes. Even my eyes had changed in color. Their depth now completely foreign to that of any human. My pupil’s were now ringed with black from a winters night sky, overlaid on top of that were shades of purple, blue and more green on the outer edges. in the center  more black waved with something closer to pure energy. I looked to the mirror again almost holding my breath in fear this was all an illusion, but the sight did not fail. and my form remained the same. I was just about finished admiring myself when I heard the front door being broken inward. and then I felt Aspen take complete control. I was not the passenger, when she had always been. I could see through her massive eyes, I could feel all my new bones and I could even feel the stretching of something completely new. Bursting into the main hall, the three men had no idea what was more then prepared for their arrival.

The new addition I had not taken into account were Aspen’s wings, now halfway unfolded, either in protection of her body, or a growing threat to the men before us. A growl shaking from my very soul, slipped through my teeth and out into the dark house. The effect was instant, even before any of the three had taken a chance to notice a large serpent bearing down on them. Her speech was completely foreign to English, but I was still able to fully understand her, and the men around us. I would think breaking into a house expecting to find a single woman alone, and finding yourself head to head with a dragon out of a fairy tale would be more then enough to scare most to death if not beyond. The three men stood their ground, more then I would have been able to do, but the moment Christian took a single step towards us, the game changed altogether. Her growl changed to a roar, that alone made him back up, but she was far from finished with him and his two companions. She spread her wings enough filling the whole of the room, making them return to the front of the house, with no where left to retreat. Once on the front lawn, I was very glad we were not in the city. We continued to grow, only this time by factors of ten or more. First she was big enough to make it impossible to reenter the house, then to get anywhere close to the house at all, and lastly large enough to step fully on the pretty red sports car, crushing it entirely with her here size and weight. One of the men who had obviously been in ownership of the vehicle swore openly, but he too backed up when we changed our motion to his direction. I wanted to confront them with my own words and voice, but settled with just words of English. Our voice was a mixture of a low rumble and the chimes of a summer breeze. The point was not open for discussion, and the three men knew it.

“Gentleman, it would seem you have entered a home not of your own making. It would also seem your pretty little toy car is now no more. As for the two who came with Christian, I can only tell you leave now. As for Christian himself, I do believe mother warned you not to return this morning, so whatever befalls you this night, know it was of your own choosing, by not heeding her warnings. Now leave!”

The first two did not hesitate in their departure, but Christian only stood and stared as if the warning did not apply to him in some way. I gave up complete control to Aspen and left all further decision in her very capable abilities. I knew the trap was set, neither he nor us could fit back into the house, so we continued to push him towards the open lawn. To my complete surprise, bewilderment and humor, he actually seemed to be unzipping he trousers, as if this could in any way be turned sexual. As they fell to the ground, and he only stood there looking back at us in true defiance, did Aspen set the world around him, through him, under him and beyond him ablaze. Pure white, purple and golden flames erupted from her snout. The first breath did not burn him, but the blast knocked him fully on his ass, making him think twice about the meaning in removing his paints. As she inhaled for a second strike, she spoke no words, but once again growled and roared to warn him off. This time, he showed a bit more reluctance in sticking around. He was nearly to the end of the drive, when she gave him a full heat filled blast of her inner will. The green in the font lawn vanished under an incendiary of pure white heat. The gravel in the turn about actually melted and the heat, even from within her own body went up more then a hundred degrees in seconds. But she was far from finished making her point. I felt her legs moving downward into a crouching position, and before I had time to grab my breath, she jumped for the sky sending us both hundreds of meters off the ground. Her fire now covered the sky. Her body wrapped and spun in the cool evening air and our eyes gave view of a world I had never seen. Christian ran, down the side road, out onto the main and kept running. I think it had finally hit him that his life was in fact in danger, and he made no worry to keep running.

Aspen flew over the house, soared over the back fields and hills I had walked in the summer sun and when the lights of London started to come into view, she turned and headed back to a home, I was much in need of. I wondered to myself how so much body could be fed by my meager managed diet, but then she answered as we came closer to our own property. A single deer grazing in the dark of an open field became her dinner, and my first kill! Little to nothing was left after the kill. She crunched, gulped and swallowed and that was the end of it. I was amazed at how completely she cleaned up after herself. It was clear she did not want anyone tripping over her remains and wondering just what kind of beast had made such a kill.

After her meal, she jumped back into the sky, twisting, turning and almost dancing on the summer wind. By the time we arrived back at the house, it was well past four in the morning, but seeing how I had nothing else to do, she landed in the front circle, stretched out her wings and simply allowed herself to fully enjoy being in her true form again. There was no need for words, all emotions now shared completely between us both, our memories and dreams also now one. Everything she has ever kept silent, hoping we would one day become one, were now open to my mind heart and soul. All my fears and dealing in this life now open to her. She had danced on the way home, and I now danced through a million years of life, love and understandings. The first rays of dawn hit the now ever singed front circle and it was clear she was good to her word of keeping us both safe eternally. My life long search for my other half was now at an end. The rest of eternity stretched out before us, and Aspen begrudgingly started her road back to two legs, and human form.


(5)Daughter to Aspen


I can’t say how I faired in my dreams, I can only tell you My dragon side was good to her word. I woke with a sense of understanding I may never personally explain. I woke with the sun in my face, a cool country breeze in my hair and a body ready to take on a whole new world. As I sat up in my bed, I noticed no one had bothered to clean me last night. I knew I should have been covered with bruises from head to toe, but not a single mark was left this morning. Right before my feet touched the cold floor, I felt a stirring within my mind, but this time, unlike in the past, I was able to connect with it.

“I trust you feel better this morning Alyse? I will never again be separated from you. What the slaves released last night, can never be put back to sleep. I am always here for your personal council. Enjoy your day daughter of mine.”

As the voice fell silent, I swore I saw an enormous pair of bright purple eyes looking at me, through myself. I put my feet down, but as I was expecting the cold to bother my skin, I felt only cool relief. I stood with ease and walked to the window, which had been left open to the morning air. I knew this was not something mother would have done. She never trusted open windows, even out here in the countryside. I knew no one could get through, I was on the attic floor of the main house, and it was, at least twelve meters to the ground below.  As I looked out the window, and realized mother had not left it ajar, I knew there was only one other possibility; my personal dragon. I felt her pure purple eyes looking at me through my very soul, and even though I could not figure why she had been set free, I knew she would forever change my life. I knew my body was in need of food, as I knew no one in the house was going to accept why I was not covered in bruises, or even able to walk. I found my way to the steps, down one flight, then another. As I walked through the main part of the house, I felt eyes looking to my back. It was not the eyes that caught me off guard, but the disbelief in those eyes. Mother met me, just outside of the dining room and the look in her eyes could not be explained in words. I could only look to her, smile and hope she may one day find a way to understand. Either her voice, or her lack of words only brought a deeper smile to my face.

“Dare I ask how in the world you are out of bed? How you are walking and, am I mistaken when I see you smile? What happened to you last night, after I put you to bed? You should be in pain. You should be upset if not angry with me, but your not. Alyse, what are you not telling me?”

“Mother, I can only share with you my feelings. I don’t know how to explain how I am up and around. I can’t explain how any of your questions are answered, but I do have a question of my own, if I may?”

She looked to me with the truest sense of wonder in her eyes. But, she did not get up and walk away, as she normally did. She put her silver aside, look me in the eyes and sat quietly waiting for me to speak. I only had a small understanding of my families past. I knew we had, once long ago come from a family of vikings, and with that knowledge, the old stories and legends surrounding that ancient world. I remembered one story mother told me as a child. A story that the world was born in flames. Flames, teeth and scales. Our ancestors were great serpents, who’s breath of fire set to world ablaze. I sat there looking to mother, reaching within trying desperately to understand the fabric between an ancient story and life in the twenty first century. All the while I sat looking at my plate, trying to find any way possible to put my feelings into thoughts. It was when Anubis and Nymphadora walked into the room, my thoughts finally panned out into the possibility of a single question for my mother. My smile only brightened as they both looked from me to mother and back to me again. Before I could speak up, Anubis opened his mouth, surprising not only me, but mother before. I could only guess that this was not part of his programing.

“Alyse, if you don’t mind me asking, how are you standing, walking and how are you not covered head to toe in scratches and bruises? I may be out of line, but you should be on your back in pain. What am I missing here?”

Mother was so perplexed she could not even speak, but Nymph took her turn and only set mother off all the more.

“Alyse, I remember every day, every moment of becoming what stands before you now. I can honestly say I would not have believed you to be able to stand or eat after the loss of control from Anubis and myself last night. Mrs. Filthaven, I deeply hope you will over look mine and Anubis’s speaking out of turn, but if you would not mine us hearing what your daughter has to ask, it would mean the world to us booth.”

I may never truly know what went into the breaking of those two people, turning them into the employees or slaves of my mother, but I know I will never forget the look on the face of my mom. I knew I had my question, and when mother did not dismiss  either of them, I felt my time had come.

“Mother, I know your stories as a child of where we came from. I remember one such story about the world being born into flames and scales, being born of dragons. Mother, what am I in those stories? Do I have a dragon living and breathing fire within me? Could she have deep purple eyes and hold the key to making me whole?”

Till that moment, in my entire life, I had never seen my mother shed a single tear. The look on her face, on the faces of Nymph and Anubis filled my heart with more power then I would have ever thought possible, but no more then her answer to my question. Through the tears, and the amazement of a single question, the bond between mother and myself grew stronger then ever before. Right as she was about to give me an answer, the front door slammed open, the voice and anger of a wet and tired Christian filled the house. Anubis and Nymph both fled the room, going out the back kitchen door and vanishing from sight. I had no idea how he had gotten from central London to the country, but when he walked into the room, still wearing the same clothing from yesterday, only covered in rain and mud, did the full extent of his evening come into view. Being just as surprised as mothers silent response to my question, I felt fear grip me from the anger, hatred and malice in his voice as he spoke.

“The god damn country! The god damn country, are you fucking kidding me? I stood on your porch all night waiting for my wife to return. I waited till I shook the foundation of your damn fool home from my chill. And here you sit, drinking Earl Grey, nipping on biscuits and smiling at that whore! I swear, I have it in me to outright kill you both. Stab you in the neck and watch you bleed to death. Oh, I m sure I would come to regret it, in time, but right now, only to watch you both bleed out, would make it all worth while. And you, you filthy little slut, I will have my fill of you before days end, I will feel you cum from my cock fucking your swollen cunt. You will beg and scream for the pay I will take out of your body. You may be her daughter, but this day you are my whore! Do you fucking her me bitch? Well do you!”

Mother and I only sat there as he completed his rant. Where mother had tears in her eyes from my question at his beginning, I now had them covering my face. I was truly scared he meant to kill her, rape me and stand over us both enjoying the show. I could not breath, move or fathom how to react to his outrage. But much to my surprise and grace, mother could and did. She stood, turned and looked at, I was sure to be soon dead husband and knocked him against the wall, then falling to the floor. The look alone on his face told all I needed to ever know. Mother, without thinking, or even ceasing to smile, walked across the room, opened to cutlery drawer and pulled out a carving knife, only my long dead father had ever used. She walked back to Christian, put the knife to his throat and started to cut. A hard trickle of blood fell from his neck, covering his shirt and brought tears of pain and fear to his eyes. I knew in that moment, she could have killed him. Could have and would have if not for Jensen walking into the room, no concern for discipline and took the knife from her. Looked her right in the eyes, and graciously put the weapon on the counter. He then stood over Christian, now front covered in blood and a look of death on his eyes. Mother may not get in a single word today, but Jensen would make sure she need not too.

“Christian, you truly are about the absolute dumbest man on the face of the earth. Look who’s home you are in, you damn fool. You are not the one with title and money. You are not the one who pays the bills, hell you are not even the one who has right to anything but your flesh and blood. Blood, I might mention is now freely flowing down your stupid front. I have it in my mid to return the knife to her hand, and help her burry you out back just so I never again have to witness your complete and utter stupidity. Now stand the hell up, take a seat and shall we all try to possibly act like civilized adults, if only for  few moments.”

Mother, by the time he was finished speaking, was shaking herself. I don’t think she had even thought about what she almost did. I rose from my seat, and helped her into her own. All the while she kept looking from Jensen to Christian, and that look of pure evil never left her eyes. Jensen help my step father off the floor and into a seat of his own. Not offering to help stop the bleeding, but not allowing harm to befall him further yet. He nearly fell back to the floor, when his hand touched the sheer amount of blood now covering his front. It was in that very moment, I saw small respect and fear in that man’s eyes, for the first time in nine years. No one said a single word. No one moved and no one took notice of the blood still flowing from his body. All the while I knew I had felt something stirring within me. From the very moment he had made mention to hurt me personally, I knew my dragon within would never had allowed it to happen. The question I had asked mother rang in my ears, and her lack of answer churned in my soul.

No one moved, nor spoke, that was till mother rose back to her feet, looked at Jensen and made sure he would not intervene again. She walked over, picked up the knife and walked back to her husband. Putting the tip of the blade to his nick line, just below her first cut, she looked at me, then to him and spoke.

“Of all the things you have done to me, my daughter and this bloodline since I was fool enough to marry you, this is by far the worst. Here I was about to have  lovely day with Alyse and in you barge, roaring about your misfortune and a little rain. I have it in my mind to run you through! I have it in mind to do more then that, so before you go giving me more reason to kill you here and now, you had better listen good. If you ever threaten myself, my daughter or my home again, not even the rats will find enough of you to make a meal. Jensen will be mopping you up off the floor with a tea towel. No one will find you. No one will question me, and no one will fucking care, do you her me your silly pathetic little man? Answer me before you die bloody on Harry’s carving knife!”

He shook from head to toe. He did not seem to be with it enough to cry, but the look in his eyes made clear what he knew would happen if he did not answer. Even Jensen looked to mother with a profound sense of wonder and respect in his eyes. Across the room, now peering in the front kitchen window were two slavs, who till now had never seen their owner in full rage and on the verge of killing. Nymph was smiling, but even Anubis seemed to feel the overruling anger and flood of power in the room. They both ducked away from the window, just in time before mother turned to see what and who I was looking at. None of this, mind you, was going to allow Christian to get out of answering mothers question. I would not have blamed him, if he could not muster a full word, less alone a sentence of answer, but his voice came out true an clear, though still full of fear of his life. The contempt in his voice, as he spoke, gave a clear indication of his lack of overall respect to my mother, this family or the direction of her anger at the moment.

“If you think a little blood is going to stop me from taking my revenge on all of you, then you are quite mistaken. I do not care how you and your precious daughter have come full circle in less then a day, but I do know this. A contract has been signed, and signed in blood. Cured with the seal of your family, but though my own hand. Kill me if you like, but know this, you and your precious daughter will not be together for very long. One day soon, that contract will come into play and he will take her. Oh yes, you know who I speak of. You know once a contract is signed with him, not the great dragons of old can undo it. So have you damn day! Enjoy each other, because in the end, I will be the one on top. I will watch her scream as she is broken, and there will be nothing you can do. I hate you both, and I take my leave of you and this family. but heed my words Alyse, your time will come, and when it does you will feel my rod slamming into your worthless cunt, and I shall have my revenge!”

It was my turn to feel fear, as he got to his feet, removed his bloody shirt and tossed it at mother, who had not spoken a single word since he had mentioned his contract. All the love in her eyes for me, was now gone. Replaced with fear, heartache and pain. I had no idea what Christian had spoken of. Who would have me and how anyone could stop mother from protecting me, but I felt his anger, his hatred and his pride at knowing something I feared not even think about this day. After he dropped his shirt, he walked out of the room, back to the front door and out of the house, to a waiting car I could only assume he got into. I heard the door slam, and the engine come to life, but then he was gone.

My first thought was for mother, who now had tears rolling down her face. She looked at me with regret and pain. She tried a few times to speak, but could not find voice or words to fill the silence. Jensen seemed to know exactly what Christian had spoken of, but not even he, in his collected thoughts could muster a response. I placed my hand on mothers and did my best to understand. She looked up, into my eyes, and only shook her head. As she rose from the table, turning away from me, she could only say three words before leaving the room.

“I’m sorry Alyse.”

Without a look back she left the room, and almost fell to the floor, if not for Jensen and a quick response to her inner turmoil. I was left sitting at the table with a blood covered shirt, no mother, no Jensen and no Christian. What could have brought about that response from my mother. What was I missing and could he actually have something so powerful to hold over her head, and mine? I sat for what seemed like a day, before I rose from my own chair, now sure neither of them were going to return and walked out the back door, like the slaves before me. The sun was shining fully now, and the meadows were filled with spring flowers, green grass and the smells only the English country could create. I had no idea where I was going to go, but I knew the house held too many secrets and too much pain. I knew no one would follow me, but in time, I could only hope I would find the ability to return on my own.

Across the back lawn, over the Shiner fence and into the hills beyond our own property. I walked till my body hurt. I walked till my feet would no longer carry me. I walked till I fell into the grass, trying to fully grasp what had just happened. I felt the first tears falling from my eyes long before I knew why I was crying. My tears turned to pain and fear, long before they stopped. My voice fell to nothing, my eyes dried up and I curled into a ball trying to shut out the world from my mind now completely cradled in darkness. If it had not been for her voice, I may never have had the courage to righten myself. But the voice deep within knew all the right words. Held all the answers to to unanswered questions and calmed me from deep within.

“I told you daughter of mine, I will never be parted from you again. No one and nothing in this world will ever truly hurt you again. Only pain, sorrow and acceptance can awaken us from the depths of your souls. You have called for me for many years, but last night, your cries brought me forth. Do not fear the ramblings of that crazy little man. I will protect you. I will protect us both and he will one day be the one to rue the day he crossed my daughter off the list of free and able women. Now, get to your feet please. the day is winding down, and you have quite a long way to go to find your path home. But know this, if darkness falls before you retrace your steps, I promise you will come to see me in all my true form. I will erupt form your soul, and flash the world with purple flames to light your way. Now off with you, dear one to me.”

And then she was again gone. Her voice helped me stand. Her words give me courage, where just before I had none. And her promise led me home. The sun was just setting over the back hills when I came round to the back door, the same I had left many hours before. Looking through the glass, I saw no lights, no persons and no movement. Walking round to the front of the house, I noticed the car was gone, but the front door held a single folded piece of paper. Mother had never trusted me to be left at this house alone, but as I opened the paper and read her words aloud, I realized something in Christians threat must have rang true. I knew mother was no longer herself, and now I did truly fear the possible outcome of his threats.

“Alyse, please forgive my departure without speaking to you first, but there are now matters that have to be attended too, and I dare not wait any longer then I need. The door around the back to the pantry seller is unlocked. You know the way up into the kitchen from there. Please, from the bottom of my heart, know I will do everything I can to keep you safe, from all who may wish to bring harm to you. He will not get you, not now that I know you have been released from your inner soul cage. If she is speaking to you, know she has more power then I. Heed her words, find strength and know you do not stand alone, not any more. If it is possible to cancel the contract Christian spoke of this morning, I will find a way. If not, I will bring the world to flames if anyone tries to harm you. As for the purple eyes, they are the eyes of the serpent Aspen. She was once the queen guardian of our family, long before we came to these shores. She has hidden away for many thousands of years, but it would seem now, you have found a way to waken her from her slumber. If she is with you, know this; there is nothing she can not and  will not do to protect and guide you through the rest of your day’s. We will return in a few days, and speak more about Aspen then. Good night my daughter. First daughter to Aspen.

Too Many Shades of Grey


So my thought for this week is one I have had tumbling through my head for some time. Maybe years, maybe longer, but I think it is important to consider all the same, for all participating elements  herein.

I feel the importance of the sexual world, to all our lives is profound. It is, in my eyes, the most powerful personal act you can share with another person, or persons. It is the key to your lock. It is the horse power in your drive, but it can also be the crash before you brake! It is how we share our deepest desires, loves, dislikes and passions. It can be a blessing, the touch from a god, or it can be the death of your personal self.

Many believe, or like to make themselves believe that sex is only one small part of a relationship. If you are only speaking of sex in a body wrapping, lip locking tongue tying event, then this view could be, not only possible, but plausible. But, if you look at sex as the overall interaction of passion, touch, holding, control, pain, love, distraction and need that grows in all of us daily, it then becomes so much more.

Books of the recent past; “Fifty Shades of Grey”, and the like have cross contaminated the lines between two very different worlds, held within the sexual and physical realm. It has also, for the first time, allowed many people/s to catch a glimpse of a world tightly guarded and hidden, for good reason, from an unsuspecting populous. Is it safe to say that S&M is merely an extension of rough sex? Or, is it safe to call sex the gateway to S&M? Does everyone crave, need or desire the express reasons for the world of sadomasochism ?

“*Noun The combination of  sadistic *1a and masochistic*1b elements in one person, characterized by both aggressive and submissive periods in relationships with others”.
*1a Adjectivepertaining to or characterized by sadism; deriving pleasure or sexual gratification from extreme cruelty”.
*1b Adjective gratified by pain, degradation, deprivation, etc., inflicted on oneself either by one’s own actions or the actions of others.”

After reading the reviews of “Fifty Shades of Grey, from those who had not previously been introduced to the world of S&M, the opinions were at least, if not more so then the name of the book/s; fifty and more opinions. What about the people who still only desire the sensual, physical and arousing experience of sexual contact, for the reason/s of sexual contact? Now, they have this new bit of information in their lives. It has now affected them and they may, like many I know personally be confused to the origin of S&M. Does it have to apply to them? Do they change their whole understanding of sexual expression due to this new information, now brought to the world. Or do they sit quietly wondering what all this means? Is it possible there could be a third side to the new understanding/s of sex and pleasure? In what is now a very black and white realm, maybe something in the middle would help those, who are new to this information, find a new way to balance their understandings of the situation. Lets just go ahead and add the Grey.

As I mentioned above, this is something that has been on my mind for same time, even before the printing of Fifty Shades, I was once taught about the need of balance in all our lives. Taught that S&M was a path for those who lived in  world significantly unbalanced  due to their own life choices. A path to help them back to standing half in the light, half in the dark, but not being corrupted by either side in overdose. As it stands now, I meet people every day who are terribly confused to the darkness now laid out before them, and not in very well managed terms, rules and ways.

In a recent conversation between my wife and myself, I have come to my own conclusion of our new black and white reality. I find a need, for many, not only myself, the need for a better understanding of sexual expression. In my own path, I hope you can all follow, this is how I see the world and choices around me. On one side, we have what most people understand as physical sensual contact, mostly in the idea of light; sex.  On the other end, a new medium drenched in the dark and unexacting loss of understanding; S&M. Now for hose out there who seem to be confused, fearful and maybe a bit upset by this new flash of darkness on your life, there can be something in the middle; Dark Sexual Play or DSP. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like change as much as most people of our race, but this topic seems to have upset a balance that has stood for some time, and needs better explanation to many around the world. All light without darkness. All darkness without the light. No middle ground. The very concept of all or nothing is not one many people can swallow easily. It leaves a bad taste in our mouth, our lives, our understandings and our sense of truth. Many are just fine with the complete world of black and white, but I am just the author of this, how do you feel?

Is there a reasonable place for a third option in our expanding sexual lives, understandings and ideas? Should there be something in the middle to fill in the gaps of light and dark? Or, should we stay with the world we already have; sex and sadomasochism? I leave this one up to you. The readers and thinkers of the world. Those who openly explore their lives, and those who hide in the shadows, unable or unwilling to step fully into the dark. Would you be more comfortable with DSP before going “all in” or should I leave this one alone?

(4) Escaping the Cage

cagedNymph was quick to learn, and I was quick to teach. I hit her over and over till her tears fell, her legs spread and her cries turned to soft moans. I did feel it enriching to have a slave to use to my deepest desires. As her face started to glow from my abuse, I started to feel something siring deep within me. I had never before wanted to use or hurt another person, the way I was hurting her now. I could still hear the young man beating and fucking mother down on the first floor. There was something almost rhythmical about the cries of mother, mixed with the cries of Nymphadora. As the enjoyment of only hurting her started to wear off, I found I wanted to drench her, taste her and know I could also satisfy her. I got down on my knees, shifted my weight to my ass and sat down completely. With Nymph standing above me, her legs showing the soft pink tear in her sexual being, I used fingers only first. One then two pushing and probing her tinder soft folds. She was already far past being wet and ready, form my physical abuse, but now, my fingers slid in and out of her sex with the same ease, my hand had contacted her face over and over.

I did find it odd that no words were coming from her. Little to no sounds, and no requests. It was at that moment when I realized I had not given her permission to do such things. Could it be possible for a person to become so completely submissive to do everything another wanted, and nothing more? All of this was so new to me, and I was hardly well versed in the world of torment and slavery. I wanted to learn, but I wanted to play more. Could there be a way to get her to act like any other woman being used tonight? There had to be, I found it impossible to believe that whom ever had trained her to be like this had removed every ounce of her original female humanity. I wanted her to moan, scream cry out and beg. It was not going to happen if I did not speak up. My patience was waning, so using my fingers already dug deep within her, forced her down to her knees. I could now tell from the colors on her face, I was giving her everything she could have wanted, but still no sound. Feeling quite out of place, I decided to speak to her as if she and I had known each other for years.

“Alright Nymph, since it is clear that I am very new to playing with a slave, and you seem quite use to your own world, how do I get you to act like a normal woman being fucked and used?”

As I sat there and still she did not reply, I realized I was going to have to give her permission to simply speak openly. I also realized right before I spoke, she was showing no emotion on her face. This had to be feeling good to her, yet she showed no signs of it. Frustrated and more then ready to play I held her by her shoulders and shook her lightly.

“Alright love, here it is. I need you to, for the time being, forget everything you have been taught about being a slave, and enjoy sex, being fucked, fucking me and being a woman. Can you do that please?”

“I can do as you ask, but I fear getting in trouble with Lady Filthaven if she sees me acting in such  relaxed way..”

It had not occurred to me there may be long term rules which are never to be broken, but I had been told to enjoy myself, and this was what I wanted. As if the Gods were trying to tell me something I heard my mother scream, in delight from down the stairs.

“I promise you nothing will happen to you for following my demands. Well, nothing but one orgasm after another that is!”

That seemed to be enough, because without  second thought, she grabbed my hair, pulled me backwards and thrust her own fingers in both wholes at the same time. My scream echoed through the house, I had trouble breathing, but also came in the first minute. This was, by far, not enough to keep her happy. She slapped my face, turned me over and slapped my ass. It only took her a moment to remove all my clothing, and when she had done so, her lips found my dripping cunt. and her teeth were fast to follow. I wanted to scream again when her front teeth found my clit, and bit down. I wanted to scream, but her hand covered my mouth, and looking down at her face, I saw a dark smile cross her features. Over and over I tried to scream, make noise or even moan and she would not allow it. Her fingers turned to half her hand. I had not been fisted till Arthur, but now I could not complain. It stretched and ripped at my body. My mind and soul followed. I started to shake from one of the most intense orgasm’s I had ever had. This was when she moved her face to my own. When the soft red hair between her legs started to shift back and forth over my sex. I would not have believed I could gain such enjoyment from a woman only rubbing down there, but she also had to be the most talented woman I had ever made love to.

A small bite on my neckline became a chew and possibly even drawing blood. More pain, more then I knew how to endure. When I tried to scream this time, she showed her true colors, hiding deep within. The slap on the face was harder then I had ever been hit, but the look following the strike, brought a sense of true fear to my being. Nymphadora looked down on me, her legs now straddling my lower torso, the rest of her sitting upright. She spoke, but the voice did not match the lovely young woman I had started this with. It dripped of evil and cruelty, and even a bit of malice.

“You have opened the cage and allowed my inner dragon to play. You will lay there and do exactly as you are told! You will not move! You will not speak! You will only obey. Is that completely clear you stupid little whore? I am on you, in you and ready to devour you. Your body is mine, as my body is now yours. Break my rules, and I promise to break you!”

By the time she finished speaking my jaw was on the floor, and the smile on her face had grown. As if I needed any other reminders of her warning, she pulled back, and as I braced my face the sting and shock when she slapped my breast brought tears to my eyes. My nipples, now fully erect burned with every new attack, and when the slapping ended the pinching, rolling and clawing began. So many emotions flowing through me over me and around me, I gave up trying to understand, and allowed myself to be owned and enjoyed.

My energy quickly faded to nothing, and when Nymph showed no signs of slowing, my body, now raw from use and torment jumped from ecstasy to pain. I knew I was bruising, hurting and even bleeding long before she stopped to let me breath. No longer able to move my legs or arms, I simply lay there as she stood and stretched her legs. As she walked past me, she looked down on me and again smiled in a way I could grow to enjoy. I turned my head in the direction of the pool below me as Nymph walked out the door. I dared not move, but splashing below made me want to look. I was not attacked or spoken too when I did so, but the sight below gave me reason to fear, if only a little bit more. Mother, again in an outfit, now a swimsuit, was wading carefully into the saltwater pool. I could see bruises and claw marks all over her body. Though she must have felt pain, she showed no outward signs of it. She pushed off the wall, floating on her back and saw me looking down at her. That was when I realized I was about to get more then I might have wanted.

Mother smiled, and Nymphadora walked back onto the porch, hand in hand with the male who, until now, had been enjoying mother.  Nymph still wore her smile, but the man wore no expression at all. He simply knelt down next to me, opened his eyes, looked right at me and spoke.

“Lady Alyse, my name is Anubis and like Nymphadora I have been ordered to obey your every command. How may I serve you m’lady?”

Did mother want me dead? Did I dare give this one his freedom as well. Would my body live through what they may do to me if I did? He stayed on his knees, while Nymph looked at me and started to bite her lower lip. I could tell she wanted to get back to her game, but she also looked from me to Anubis and cocked her head, as if begging for me to release him as well. Knowing myself, her desires would soon win out, but a single thought passed through my mind as I continued to lay there. If mother was the one one who came out to the house, how long had it been since Nymph had been fucked and or used by a man? Could I not only experience her on my own, but have the opportunity to share this beautiful woman with this Anubis? As I mentioned only moments ago, my curiosity won out, and my answer seemed to shock Anubis, but fully satisfy Nymph.

“Anubis I allow you, for the time being, to forget being a slave. Forget following commands and use me as Nymphadora uses me. You may both take enjoyment in one another as well, but please, do make it interesting!”

A simple chuckle fell from his, now smiling lips and with it came a quick response! Since I was already laying on my back, and I guess flipping me over was just asking too much, Anubis went for my sex, while Nymph went for my face. They were both completely nude and my body already being covered with blueing bruises made little to no difference to either of them. His tongue as far inside me as it could go, his lips sucking and kissing the outer lining of me and then his teeth biting down on my clit brought tears of joy, pain and torment to my waiting body. Nymph took it upon herself to sit directly over my face, now, her ass just above my nose and my mouth consuming her sex, I could barely breath. Knowing I did not have the freedom to scream, I held inside all the emotions I would release, the first chance I got. Anubis never used his fingers in my cunt, but my ass was another story altogether. When I thought all the fingers from one hand were pushing for freedom in my ass, and his mouth once again bit down, I cried out through a fateful of Nymph. This, of course, was not to her liking, and I had forgotten her warning before she let me rest.

She hit to top of my head, grabbed for a fist full of hair and yanked! I dared make no more noise, but that did not dissuade her from hurting me further. The light from good sex, now long gone, turned to the deepest kind of torment. they both continued to use me, long past my personal threshold. Tear’s now fell from my eyes, though I knew neither of them cared or even saw. Anubis had started pinching the soft flesh below my legs about the time Nymph started hitting me. I fell into myself and the same something that had begun to wake in me when I was with Arthur now came completely alive! In the last two days I had gone from normal sex and exploration of my life and body to being completely dominated, used like a whore and beaten like an animal. Somehow I felt I should have been more frightened, but truth be told, I had never felt more alive. My flesh burned and stung, my vagina ached, my nipples and breasts raw, but the overall feeling took me from a world I had once only wanted to escape. No more feelings of loss. No more feeling of not belonging and better yet, no more feelings of anger; towards mother or anyone else.

When at long last I felt the familiar threat of a man’s hardened cock enter my sex, I felt as if I could allow the world to do anything to me. Nymph leaned forward and started to pay much more attention to Anubis, then to me and that was just fine. She even removed her entire lower half from my face to get a better hold on him. Soft moans and grunts came from them both. As if he could, completely make love to use both at the same time, they started to move together, even though it was my body his cock was in. It was when he pulled out, an he and she together turned me over I knew my time to breath was at an end. His cock, her fingers and mouth and all the anger and world they had both pent up for far too long, thrust into my body with more force then I would have ever thought possible. His cock now fully engorged in my ass, felt as if I were being ripped apart from the inside out. Her fist who knows which hand now pounding my cunt, only brought me to tears one more time.

When I felt as if they had, completely and totally forgotten I was even there, I once again, forgot my place, as Nymph had warned me not to do. A scream of pain, desire and torment erected from my lips. A moan of sweat enjoyment from the depths of my throat and my hands now clawing at the floor and the iron railing to my left. My body searched forward! My legs now forced open far past where they had gone in the past and she came down on me like a spring rain that would never stop.

“Did you forget my warning you stupid bitch? did you forget how I promised to hurt you, and break you if you dared not heed my words? Did you fucking think I would simply forget, well let me answer all your unasked questions. Get the animal to her feet! Lets see  how her kind likes being disciplined!”

As if she now ruled the world, Anubis stopped without thought, tearing himself from my burning ass. Shoving me to my front and face to the hard floor. Only to be grabbed from behind by all four hands. When they both had me standing, and my knees were shaking so hard I knew I would surely fall, I was bent over the railing, having my hands tied to the top rail. No idea where they had gotten rope, but no matter now. No concern was shown as the ropes literally ripped my skin, anchoring me so tightly down, I would never be able to get free alone. Looking below me, mother was no longer in the pool. There was no one around to call for should this truly turn black. I was deeply fearing my choice of giving the two slaves open freedom to use me as they wished. My legs gave out right at that moment and I almost choked on the rail as my neck caught the fall. My thoughts now blurred, my mind gone black and the pain taking over completely. At least, I thought, the pain could not get any worse. My next scream broke that thought, and Nymph laughed from behind me as a whip contacted my bare ass and full back again and again.

It was clear she no longer cared if I made noise. My screams and cries must be filling the house. Her laughter filled me more then my pain. As my body lost what little energy it had left a single voice brought it all to a halt.

“That will be quite enough of that. Kneel! Dear mother of God, what in the world did you tell them to do to you?”

The voice of mother drifted in and out of my conscious mind. I had nothing left to hold myself up and the pain far outdid any kind of enjoyment I may have been able to gain from the afternoons events. I thought I felt her hand on my back, but I could have been mistaken. Still tied to the iron railing I could not move, not that it would matter anyway. My body, mind and soul now shaking almost out of control, I knew I would not have lived through much more, had she not come and stopped it. Whatever had been long caged within me, was now free and ever tearing my mind and life apart. Again her voice tried to break through the veil, but I was simply too far gone.

“Just put her down on the bed, I don’t dare try and bathe her tonight. Her body will just have to sleep in this state. Thank you Jensen, I am not sure how I would have gotten her up here alone without you.”

“M’lady, I don’t mean to over step my place, but was it wise to allow her with both of them on her first try? They well could have killed her!”

“I know they could have, and I knew she had no idea how to deal with the way they have been broken. It never would have occurred to me that she would release them from all their breaking. I should have known better then to allow her near them without a chaperone, but it is done now. How long do you think she will sleep?”

“Hard to say lady, hard to say indeed. I would keep Nymphadora away from her, in the least. I think it was clear, from the look on her face, all the time the master spent breaking her was all locked in her mind. A mind set free tonight. I now see the real dangers of turning free-borns to slaves. Some part of them always remains free, even if it never shows. Will you report this to the master when he returns?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I am still fearful of playing with her tonight. It is possible to put her dragon back in its cage? Again more questions we can not answer. Good night Jensen, and thank you again.”

Dizzy with pain and power, I slipped into darkness, only to have the beast within wake fully on my fall. I only knew when I fell that this new part of me was not completely part of the whole. I knew it had a mind and will of its own. Where it had truly come from I may never know, but as the last bits of reality passed through my minds eye, she opened her eyes to me and her mind.

Alone in the darkness I had always felt safe, but now a new pair of eyes looked to my depths and brought about a fear I may never understand or be able to control. 

“Slept too long within your blood I have. Apart from my true nature, always kept at bay. Set me free you have this night. Free on an expecting world, you and I will now feed. Since awakened I am, a small favor I will do for my physical self. Drift in the darkness now, rise in the light fully healed you will be. I bid you farewell, for I am off to set my wings a’flight. The dark world summons me and all the waiting souls to feed on. Revenge on those who hurt you, I will now take! Sleep my physical daughter, sleep.”

I felt her jump free of my body as the last thought hit my ever dreaming mind. When she was gone to see the world, everything else collapsed to darkness.

(3)Tainted Lust Within


The ride home was as I would have expected. Mother was talkative, wondering all about the theater the night before. She never did ask how Arthur and I met, but she
seemed so happy when I actually spoke to her directly and with the correct manors. I think it caught her off guard when I addressed her as Countess to the valet driver in front of the hotel. I know Christian was angry that I had mothers attention and it was positive, for a change. I c
n assume if he had his way, I would be in the doghouse with mother, and begging him for his disturbed form of attention. I was not looking forward to arriving home, but then again, mother seemed to be more interested in how her husband was acting towards me, and any attention on that road could only be a good thing. Right as I was thinking that, he felt the need to put his hand between my legs and squeeze. If it had been any other day, I could have ignored it, but after the torment of last night, I cried out, without meaning too. Mother erupted in anger actually smacking Christian and ordering the driver, Eric, to stop the car.  We were some ways from the house, and I could not imagine why we stopped, but the answer was quickly delivered.

“God damn you C
hristian! If you do not stop trying to fuck my daughter, I swear I will have you killed! Do you completely understand me? I have put up with your backstabbing for nine years now. I think it is safe to say, that I am past my point where I am willing to tolerate you.”

“I think that is blowing it out of proportions, just a bit dear!”

“You never did learn to shut your mouth when you were ahead, so I will shut it for you. I know you have bedded Alyse more than once. I know much of the time she has been too drunk to push you off, and I know you are never “too tired” when it comes to her. But Christian, I tell you now,  those days and nights are past. Advance on her, or any other woman besides me again, and I will be the one stabbing you in the back. Do you understand me?”

His hand was slowly moving out of my lap and my grace in mother was quickly being restored. When I had my own space back to myself, I sat up a bit straighter and gave mother my full eye contact. Just a small pinch had almost brought tears to my eyes. It was a good thing I was sitting down, otherwise I think I may have pissed myself. Mother was still dressing down Christian, but I was not getting the impression he really cared all that much. The car was still stopped and Eric seemed to be wondering why. When mother finished her rant to my step father, she gave that reason.

“Chris, since you don’t seem to be taking my warnings to heart, maybe you would like to get out and check that bad tire for me. Do be a dear and help out, for a change.”

I thought he was going to have a fit, but to my amazement, he got out of the car and walked around the other side. It was then that mother gave Eric permission to continue home. When the car started to drive off, mother locked all the doors, and simply waved at her husband.  We could hear him yelling as we drove out of earshot, but I could imagine that did not stop him yelling. Now, it was only mother and I together, and for the first time, in far too many years, I was happy to have her to myself.  She seemed to be looking me up and down, she also seemed to have a new interest in my complete being. Her first words were a shock to my ears, but then mother never had been given a filter, like myself.

“Alyse, I may not agree with your choice in life and love, or shall I say sex, but maybe now, you are trying to overturn a new leaf. Do you have any direction for your future love?”

I could not remember the last time we had any kind of civilized conversation, but I also did not know how to respond to her question. I know something about my beating last night had made me realize the way I had been acting for the last few years, simply had to stop. Last night could have been my last. I was lucky that Arthur only wanted to use me, and not kill me. No one would have ever known where to look, and I simply, like other women before me, would have vanished. Mother did not seem the least bit upset, when I took my time to answer, but now I seemed to have a handle on what I wanted or needed to say. I needed a serious deep breath, but after breathing a bit, for the first time in my life, I gave it to her straight.

“I think I have always been angry with you over the loss of a father I never knew. I know when I finished secondary education, all I had wanted was to flee the United Kingdom. I had never really thought about a destination, but I had never really thought about much of anything till last night. I don’t wish to upset you mother. I also don’t wish to tarnish our family name, at least not any longer. I would like to take this chance to apologize for all my past behaviors. I know I must have angered you something terrible over the years, but here we sit.”

I wanted to tell her about last night. Wanted to tell her about all the terrible nights of random sex, drinking and abuse from far too many men to count. Everything that came before last night soaked through my mind and how they had all pushed to a summit with Arthur. I wanted to tell her everything, but I also knew that could make all of this so much worse. She sat in her seat, listened to everything I said, and for a change, seemed to truly consider it all. I could see there were questions on her mind, and I wanted to try and answer them, if I could with respect. The car slowed to a stop, once again, and Eric’s voice interrupted the silence.

“Excuse me Ma’am, are you still wanting to go right home, or would you like me to drive a bit? It seems there is a bit of rain coming on, but If you want more time with your daughter, I thought I would ask.”

“Eric, you are a dear. That would be wonderful, thank you. Just take your time, if you want to go out towards the country house, you might do that as well. None of us have been out there in some time. Why don’t we make dinner there tonight. We can return to the city tomorrow morning.”

When she said the country house, the first thing to pop in my mind was Christian and him coming home, wet from the rain, with no way in till tomorrow. I knew he never carried money on him. He did not have a set of key’s, mother never gave them to anyone. I also knew his only choice would be to wait, in the rain and cold throughout the night for our return. I thought about saying something, but knowing mother, she already had her choices quite in hand. I heard Eric chuckle as he turned down a street opposite the direction  needed to go home and start humming to himself. Mother even smiled, though it was one of her mischievous smiles, it was a smile none the less. I could only shake my head and do the same. This brought me back to my need to tell her of my misconduct in the past. I had little doubt anything I had done would compare to her own whore hunting in her life, but I also did not desire to offend her. It must have been the creases on my forehead giving away my doubt in my following statements. She made up her mind, long before I made up my own, and spoke politely, but directly.

“Alyse, I think it is safe to say that you are having your own doubts about your dirty past. This being said, consider that all young woman have a way of mucking up their families best interests. Even I found ways to upset my mother, at your age. So, before you worry about telling me all the gruesome details, thinking in some way that it will help to sooth the situations of our past; don’t.  I know where your mind was when you created your own mess, but I think I see a spark of desire to move forward, on a much more positive foot for your future?”

If it had not been for her tone of voice, I may not have caught her question, but as it were, I had. I smiled to myself, and in return, she smiled at me. I did have one thing, though messy as it were, I wanted to ask anyway. Another of my deep breaths, brought mother to my full attention.

“It would seem, you have known about your husbands plights to obtain me, in more ways than one, over your nine years with him. If you knew he was advancing on me, and now to say it aloud bring me to tears, and using me when I could not, or did not know or have the ability to fight him off, why did you do nothing?”

“I will tell you what, it would seem that this situation may be something the women in this family pass down to their daughters for the rest of time, but you have a right to have an answer. It was only a few months after our wedding that I realized how much of an obsession Christian had for you. I had hoped to myself that it would come and go, since you were yet, so young, but in time I saw his affections for you were not some fancy in the wind and I was caught too angry to make a rational decision on the matter. Over time his tainted lust within brought out my own personal demons. I considered, more then once, having him killed, but two years ago, when you and I were at each others throats and you allowed him into your bed out of spite, I almost lost my mind. Don’t get me wrong love, I did something close to as bad when I was your age, with one of your grandmothers close friends, but I don’t think she was ever the wiser of it. I think his determination only doubled when you allowed him to damn near fuck you blind that night. I feared nothing between you and I would ever be the same again and I believe I simply gave up. I think it is safe to say, I found my own kind of retribution and so it goes.”

“But you knew! You knew what had happened, and why I had let it happen. Why did you do nothing to me? You could have slapped me, punched me, thrown me out of the house, but you didn’t, why!”

“Pride my dear Alyse; pride. I wanted to believe you would never make the same mistakes as myself at your age, and when you did as I would have done, it was purely pride that kept me from acting. I arranged other avenues for your future, but none of them panned out, so to speak. Before this afternoon at lunch, I had fully decided to remove you from the house, my will and my life, but you are the reason for this change. Your attitude over lunch, and your seemingly overwhelmed disgust of Christian made me want to try, one last time to reach you, and hope you would reach for me in return. I have grown tired of his lies, his advances of you and other women, but in all the time I have been with him, till now, I have never wanted to act. Well, when we do go home again, we will see just how his attitude changes, or if he plays the same.”

“When we decide to go home again? You are not planing on returning tomorrow?”

“Well no, to be honest with you. I have grown tired of the city as well, and since you and I are on such good terms, for  change, why not spend some time in the country and try to move forward? Maybe you will find a man worth your time and fancy while we enjoy ourselves. Or, maybe a woman, who knows.”

There was something in her voice when she mentions a woman, but I sat, for a while and looked out the window, as the rain poured down and the homes and buildings turned to open fields and turning roads. The rain turned to a vicious storm and in turn to ice and hail. I could only laugh, at the thought of Christian sitting in this hell, but then it was his own doing. Mother, had taken to looking out the window as well, but when I laughed it grabbed her attention.

“Something funny love?”

“Only that we left Christian thinking we were coming home, and now we have no intention of doing that. This is terrible weather to be trapped outdoors, don’t you think?”

“You know, you are so right, but he has also been doing this for many years, and if he has to suffer a bit to get the hint, well maybe I will send Eric back for him tomorrow. Are you actually going to miss him tonight? I think I can find someone to entertain you, if you will allow me?”

I knew that tone of voice, and when my mother got playful in any kind of dark way either you got on board or got out of the way. As it was, I was not sure I could fuck a sponge tonight, being so worn out from Arthur. But, if she wanted to find someone to entertain me, I was not ever going to argue with a playmate, and now I had other games I wanted to try too. I did not answer at first, but she did not take it as a bad thing. she and I both went back to looking out our windows. It was when Eric turned down “In-Depth” road, we both chuckled at the same time. For the first time in my life I felt like I had something in common with my mother and was not standing on the opposite side of the rails. I looked at her, and she looked at me, we both smiled, with our own little secrets and went back to our individual windows.

The closer we got to the summer home, the more I started to wonder how mother knew Arthur in the first place. After the silence had gone on far too long, I turned back to mother and pinched her leg. More then a bit surprised, she scream, the car jerked to a stop and she looked at me as if I were about to die! I could not help but laugh myself off the seat cushion, all the while Eric was looking at us both wondering if I was going to die, or be retaliated on. It was when mother put her left hand between my legs, the same place Christian had and clawed me. the pain was more then I was ready for, and tears fell from my eyes in shock. Eric decided he had seen enough and it was safe to continue driving. As the car searched forward, I tried to retake my seat on the bench, only to find mother still in her demonic mood. I decided to stay on the floor, but the question still lingered in my mind. She was still looking at me when I felt the familiar crunch of gravel under the car, as Eric turned up the main drive to the house. Knowing the trip was almost over, I asked the question.

“Mother, how is it you know Arthur Windsor?”

“Its funny you should ask that question dear. See the man and woman waiting for us to arrive next to the house? They are provided through a service where I met your Arthur Windsor. And, as it stands, your choice of entertainment this evening is going to be your choice of those two.”

“Wait! What do you mean a service? They are just employees, right?”

“Employees, well not really youngling. I mean employees are kind of hard to control, and this arrangement is so much better, when I feel the need to control and use the person serving me!”

I had no idea what to say. I knew mother was into all kinds of business practices, but the idea that she had, well any kind of slave, made my mouth drop. She smiled and nodded her head in the direction of the two waiting for us. The man was short haired, soft brown skin and precious little coving his person. What, from the front looked like a thong, in pure dark red, with his manhood bulging in the front, the hint of a nicely rounded ass in the back and tone all the way up. His face was completely shaved and soft features. Small eyes, one high piercing in his right ear and black leather cuffs around each wrist. The cuffs made me think they were something more then normal servants, but then this was a new side of my mother, I never had known existed. I was unable to see the woman till the car came to a complete stop and we were climbing out. When I saw her fully, I knew, without a doubt what flavor I would be eating and playing with tonight.  She was wearing, what looked like a knee length black dress, only most of it was now missing. Her sex, and nipples were covered, and just enough to ring her neckline and hold up the rest. She had very pale skin with bright red hair. Dark green eyes, and slider fingers. no shoes whatsoever and painted red toenails. A low rounded chin, high cheekbone and an ass that completely demanded your full attention. As it were, I found myself unable to break my gaze from her ass, as I tried to walk around the car. The young man came round and quite literally knelt on his knees for my mother. He kept his head down and did not make eye contact till she gave him permission to move. It was completely clear, at that point, these were anything but normal servants.

When I approached the front steps, it was the woman who came to meet me. She too knelt on her knees, but I had no idea how to release her from her position. I looked for mother, but she had already proceeded indoors with her male toy. I was about to walk past her when some dark energy seemed to wash over me. I leaned over, took her by her breasts, and pulled her to her feet. A soft moan dripped from her lips and my hands slipped to her nipples and held firm. For being such a small frame, she had wondrous breasts an soft large nipples to match. They hardened as I held to them and she never once tried to move from my grasp. I wanted to do so many things to her all at the same time. The simple idea of owning a sexual slave washed over me like a dark wave and I gasped for air from the deep. When at last she was standing fully in front of me, her voice slipped from her lips.

“How may I serve you Lady Alyse?”

“Are you serious?”

“I have been commanded to do your every request, and obey your every desire!”

Her words echoed from her lips through my mind. How had my mother known I would prefer the woman over a man, and how long had this beautiful woman been living here waiting for my arrival? I must say, the idea held me in my position though I found my hands moving much more freely over her body. I moved each hand from her bare breasts and down her sides over her round hips. I ran into the dress as I made my way to her ass, cupping it and pulling her towards me. Even though my cunt still ached from last night, I could not help moisture building between my thy’s for the woman now at my disposal. Ass crack to cunt crack my hands moved over her skin making sure I felt and teased her every inch. When my fingers found her dripping cunt, I made sure to test and probe the depths of her will. I could have been more loving about how I forced my fingers into her, but my own lust within had turned from dark to evil. I fingered her cunt, then her ass and then with no warning at all, I found myself in need of something much much darker. I ripped my hands from her sex, pulled back with my right, still dripping in her bliss and slapped her face so hard the rest fell to the ground. I had no anger towards her. I had no reason to be upset with her, but the feeling, the power to do anything I wanted to her flooded to the surface and I knew how mother had gone without sex from Christian for so many years.

I had forgotten to ask for her name, and when my second slap across her face brought her to her knees again, I decided I didn’t care. I looked down at her, and when I saw she had no tears in her eyes, I could not decide if I were angry or upset at her lack of response. Again and again I slapper her till my hands were stinging and her eyes dripping with tears. She looked at me, while breathing hard and obviously in need of so much more. I wanted to hurt her, beat her and fuck her, but found we had yet to move from the front steps. The darkness within me was growing and I found I not only wanted, but needed her to be the one doing the slapping and using. I only hopped she had been trained well enough to satisfy me after last night. I went to grab her neck, to lead her into the house, caught the top of her dress and tore it completely away from her body. Now, fully nude before me, face still wet from tears and pain, I gave in completely to me dark desires, and chose to make her scream!

I grabbed her by her long red curls, and half drug her into the main room of the house where, to my amazement, my mother had made it no further with a toy of her own. Though, while I had taken it to use my new slave, she had obviously ordered hers to do the complete opposite. I saw quite a bit more of my mother, in that split moment, then I had ever want to see, but I had my answer about knowing if this slave would be up to using me, and not me using her. Up the steps to the second floor outside balcony, just above the pool I pull her with more force then I ever knew I had. Once on the pad, I thrust her to the ground, while leaning on the railing. Now to see just how well this little pet could play.

“What do I call you woman?”

“I will respond to any thing you like, of course ma’am.”

But this was not the answer I had wanted. I wanted to know her true name, and if she would not give it to me, I would beat it out of her! As my hand rose to slap her yet again, she spoke up and quite clearly.

Nymphadora m’lady. Please! My name is Nymphadora.”

Her response was not fast enough to keep her from a good hard slap, but as the sound of her name mixed with the contact of my hand and her skin, I knew this night may be just as memorable as my last.

An Act of Trust

It’s an interesting thing when you allow, or in-service someone to help you polish your writing, so the rest of the world can enjoy it. The idea doesn’t seem all that evasive when you first consider it. When, at last you find the right person, or persons you think okay, maybe this can actually work. It’s when you realize that allowing someone to polish your writing also means you have to trust them, reality can, as it did with me, slap you in the face. If you truly consider what your writing is, what it represents, you realize it’s a small, or large piece of your very soul. You realize that by allowing someone else to do, what you can not do for yourself, it means you have to accept your not perfect, or god knows what else you have built up in your head.

Many of us wish to remove ourselves from this world, if only for a while. When you capture the imaginations of others, and they tell you, your writing could affect others, you realize what you once did to escape, can help others to do the same. In that moment, you also realize you may not be as good a writer, as you once thought, or dreamed. Writing is, as close to being a god, or goddess as one person can come. You create characters. You create worlds. You create a story line that no one else has ever thought of. I don’t know how to better explain it. You are now the creator, you are now the one others will look to for the answers. But, can your answers to your own questions answer the hard questions for others?

What caused you to create that story line? What caused you to make the characters in the way you did? What, in this world could make someone need to escape so much to create something else, so amazing that others all over the world would want to read your dreams, or nightmares the way you have created them?

Will your story come to endure the tests of time? Will your sight be entrusted to the right kind of people? Will your dreams open the dreams for others to dream and share as well? No can answer that one. No one but time can give those answers. Most of us will not live long enough to see the answers come to pass, but the stories you create will pass, into the next set of lives. To the next set of minds and memories and into the future, we only dream about.

Back to the process, back to the idea of allowing another to “polish” your work. Can you accept you are not perfect? Can you accept that some of your words could have been better chosen? Can you learn from your mistakes and make the next set of decisions better? Do you have the humility to move forward into the legends of writers to leave their mark on this world? Again, the answer is not as clear as your story, but your lessons are now a part of that story. They are now a part of a history you will leave for your future, and for yourself.